In which buttons are confusing, but sometimes helpful.
I’m so bad at buttons.
Nothing like gettin’ high and goin’ on Pintrest.
In which John talks about virginity. The Wimbly Womblys play Rochdale.
Yeah so I discuss losing my virginity (and the weirdness of the virginity construct) in today’s Wimbly Wombly video. So if that’s the kind of thing that interests you…
Disreputable Histories: AFC Wimbly Womblys #33 (by hankgames)
John Green plays video soccer and discusses The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks, We Were Liars & The Boyfriend List.
Here’s John: http://fishingboatproceeds.tumblr.com
Thank you, sir.
This must’ve been so weird for Emily to watch, because she is I’m guessing not terribly familiar with the Wimbly Womblys. But anyway, great writer!
Some of these English towns seem to have made up names, it must be said.
MATCH REPORT: AFC Wimbledon - Scunthorpe United (Sky Bet League Two)
Wibbly Lane, Matchday 2
Referee: Chris Mumple
AFC Wimbledon Starting XI: Worner; Fuller, Bennet, Frampton, Kennedy; Porter, Francomb, S. Moore, L. Moore; Green (Bald), Green (Other) [c]
AFC Wimbledon Substitutes: Brown, Sainte-Luce, Weston, Midson, Sweeney, Bamba, Sheringham
Scunthorpe United Starting XI: Slocombe; Ribeiro, Howe, Canavan, Grayson; Clark (Hawkridge 80’), McAllister (Collins 55’), Sparrow [c], Welsh; Akpa Akpro, Iwelumo
Scunthorpe United Substitutes: Nolan, Mirfin, Hawkridge, Collins, Winnall, Severn, Spencer
The season of fundamental changes at AFC Wimbledon continued as the Wombles (or the Wimbly Womblys, as a new Ultras group started calling them) played their first home league match in the newly-christened Wibbly Lane. It’s big! It’s clean! It’s wonderful! It’s… empty. Typical Kingsmeadow attendance figures in a stadium four times as large. Surely the attendance figures will tick up as the club’s fortunes climb. Right?
First things first- Scunthorpe. Establish a good home form is crucial to any successful season, and you never want to have to play catch-up in this league. For being at such an early point in the season, this sure felt like a Must Win.
The home side pressed early in the first half, with the Johns Green drifting out wide to overload the flanks. With Scunthorpe’s fullbacks in a panic the Blue and Yellow set up a cozy little breakfast nook in the box- consistently threatening, keeping the back line confused and off balance, pulling Slocombe out of position on several plays. A powerful shot from distance courtesy of Sammy Moore was parried away by sheer luck more than anything else, as was the resulting header from a corner kick that was just cleared off the line. Somehow, by luck or providence, Scunthorpe went into half time with an empty scoreline. They must have felt confident coming out for the second thought. Maybe, just maybe, we can hold the Womblys off and get out of there with a point.
They were wrong, of course. Five minutes into the second half, Other John Green collected a through ball in open space from his husband and,after fending off some bruising body checks from Howe that really should have earned a penalty, fired a low shot into the bottom left corner. He almost tallied a second less than ten minutes later but for more late heroics from Slocombe. Wimbledon continued to control possession and press forward through the half while Scunthorpe never really composed themselves. The scoreline held, but it could have been much, much more.
Some Wimbledon fans were looking for more of a statement win for their first home game, like they had away at Oxford last week. This wasn’t it. But last season, Wimbledon would have drawn or lost this game. League competition is a marathon, not a sprint, and glory and honours go to the teams that can grind out wins like this one. Nothing we saw tonight will make any year-end highlight reels, but this was a solid win in a game where Wimbledon took control early on and never let go. And that, in itself, is a statement.
AFC Wimbledon 1-0 Scunthorpe United
Scoreline: Other Green (WIM) 50’
Hank Games with Hank will be returning soon….
In the meantime, you can watch the Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers experience an existential crisis as I, like Gatsby, attempt to repeat the past with disastrous consequences.
I get a lot of tumblr asks asking me what exactly I do as John’s assistant. There’ll be more on that in the distant future, but for now, I will share that a big part of my role is explaining to my boss that there is nothing ironic about tumblr’s enthusiasm for The Great Gatsby!Baz edition.
Yeah this is basically what Rosianna does.
Probably, but I’m going to level with you:
Hankgames is not a significant source of revenue for the vlogbrothers. I wish it was, believe me. I want the Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers to be a wildly lucrative enterprise, and perhaps some day they will be. But for now….yeah. No. So we’ll probably keep playing whatever games we want to and uploading them to YouTube.
Nonetheless, Nintendo’s announcement (and YouTube’s acquiescence) is a disaster. It hurts Nintendo, and it hurts the independent creators who through their Let’s Play videos create a unique and valuable experience of a game. The idea that the Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers belong to EA Sports is just ridiculous. It’s my game, played my way, for your benefit. EA is lucky to have the free advertising (and unlike Nintendo, they seem to recognize the value).
Off-topic, but my dearest dream is for the Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers to become so financially successful that they fund the purchase of the ACTUAL SWINDON TOWN FOOTBALL CLUB. This is about 10 million dollars away from happening. But someday, friends. Some bright day…
#10 Swindon Town - Hartlepool United (League one)
Sitting top of the league the boys host Hartlepool and look to keep up the good start to the season. Manager John Green talks about homophobia in sports as well as the fictional world of the swoodilypoopers.
In which I discuss the rampant homophobia in professional football fan culture while showing Hartlepool a thing or two about greatness.